Wednesday 29 March 2006

Kiss Mask Guy Revisited

Prelude

The following Blog is actually about an event that happened a few years ago, 31st October 2003 to be exact. I was in work today and was reminiscing about various events to pass the time when I remembered about this moment. It stays in my mind as probably being one of the funniest, strangest and totally fucked up things thats ever happened in my life and in turn thought it might be a good blog. So I'll start out by setting the scene. 3 years ago was, a pretty long time ago I guess. The number one single at the time was "Hole In The Head" By Sugababes. The Malaysian Prime Minister "Mahathis Mohammed" Stepped Down After 22 Years in Power...and I had turned 16, 4 days prior to the event. I was ghetto as ever, most likely puffin on a joint, And was heavily into "Nevermind" By Nirvana...

29th October 2003
So, I cant really remember where I was or what I was doing at this point...or whether if this is even the day it happened on. But it was definately a few days before Halloween. I must have been chillin out at a friends house watching TV and was surrounded by the usual crowd I hung about with. Whatever I was doing, I just about overheard a conversation between Mercer, Si And Ben (or..whoever was there) The jist of it was that apparently all this week there had been some ballbag who'd obviously watched to many horror films going round dressed in a costume beating the crap outta people. He had beaten up 2 people they knew at the same time in Ward Park and they had ended up in hospital. This had actually become an annual thing on Halloween as the year before there was 'S and M Whip Lady' who went around castlepark, and the year after this event there were a group rapist clowns in a van. According to later tales this particular costume was apparently supposed to be the guy from the movie called "The Crow" A movie made in 1994 about a rock singer and his fiancee being brutally killed the night before Halloween, which is also the night before their wedding. Exactly one year later, with the help of a crow, The singer wakes from the dead and takes revenge for his death and the death of the woman he loved. The film mostly became a legend because its protagonist, Brandon Lee, ironically and "by accident" was killed during the shooting. The idea behind dressing up as him made PERFECT sense, although at the time I dont think they had ever seen or heard of this movie. So according to them "He dresses up as a member of fuckin KISS?!" Hence we knew him as "The Kiss Mask Guy."

As I said I wasnt really paying attention and even If I was I probably would have thought it was some bullshit....

31st October 2003
So it was halloween night, a good event to get pissed on. Ofcourse we were all between the ages of 14 - 16 so we couldnt really get into bars, so we settled for the next best thing. The Golf Course! Once again the usual crowd was there Alex,Si,Jay,Mercer,Louise,Ben,Kev,Byers and ex-girlfriend Kirsten. We were just sitting on the grass drinking our carryouts, smoking some J's and it was actually a pretty good night for back in the day standards. Around about 11.30ish we were walking along Gransha Road and we came across this wee alleyway and decided to chill out there for a bit. I was sitting at the far end with Kirsten and we were sharing a joint. We were both pretty fucked off our heads as was everyone else who was there. It was a chilled out situation, but it was about to get disrupted. We were still getting stoned when all of a sudden Mercer shouted "OH FUCK ITS THE KISS MASK GUY" and Him and Si bolted out past us to the other side of the alleyway, dropping their 3 litre bottles of Cider in the process. I was totally fucked and didnt even realise what was going on, I just remember thinking "Where are they off too?" I slowly turned to face the opposite direction and I saw Jay and Alex rolling a joint, also unstartled by what had just transpired and probably as fucked as we were. I slowly got to my feet, stood up and looked back down again only this time I saw someone else. Standing at the end of the alleyway looking straight back at me was this 6 foot tall, motherfucker, with a long leather jacket..and...a "Kiss Mask." He looked pretty scary. If you were sober and in the same position as me you would have probably shit a brick. But ofcourse I was dazed and confused. It must have literally took up to 10 seconds for my brain to register and remember the conversation I heard a few days earlier and another 15 for the delayed reaction. It was when he struck his infamous "serial killer pose" (Raising his head and expanding his arms out) that I uttered the words "oh fuck!" I acted quickly and grabbed Kirsten who was totally fucked on the floor and started running for it, we reached a few yards outside the end of the alleyway when we were joined by Jay and Alex who despite being only 5 metres away from him, DIDNT even see him!! In a full scale whitey mode we called Si's Mobile to see where Him and Mercer had went to...Now..Si and Mercer arent exactly athletes...but...they were so freaked out that they ran a mile to our friend Lois's house within LITERALLY 5 minutes!!! Soon enough we joined them safely. We thought about informing the police...but then we realised that if we called saying "We were being chased by a guy with a kiss mask on" On halloween night - they would send the men with the white jackets on us most likely. So the jist of it all is that - luckily with my quick initative we all avoided a heavy beating...

1 Week Later....
Alex & I were once again on the piss (and stoned with Alexs homemade pipe) In the midst of walking around senseless in Ward Park around 12am we decided we were up for a ruckus...our victim? The Kiss Mask Guy! We rummuged round some place and found a 2 by 4 piece of wood (like the ones Cactus Jack wrapped Barbwire round) and a metal pole. We then began our mission to find the cunt. We knew that most of his victims were around ward park so we decided shouting and taunting him with phrases such as "Oh look at me...I dress as gene simmons...im such a dickhead!!" and altering the kiss song "I like to rock n roll all night and party every day" to "I like to beat up kids all night and rape them every day" Looking back it...probably wasnt the smartest idea...He probably would kicked both our asses anyway lol. But the thing that weirded us out most was that around 1am we saw this guy walking around ward park with a kitchen knife...that was our cue to leave...So in conclusion...Bangor..is a pretty weird place with..lots of weird people...and whatever happened to the kiss mask guy???...I Think he got his knees done in by the UDA =)

Saturday 18 March 2006

Top 10 Games Of All Time (IMHO)

So its been decided...my opinion of the top 10 games of all time. The majority of these are full on classics and if you dont agree with them...I Really couldn't give a fuck! If you have something to say. Then add me to MSN, So I can annoy you by constantly blocking you and unblocking you. If you think you can do better, reply to this blog with*** your top 10. Note - I Am Not A Nerd, This Is Not Pokemon Club, Im Simply bored as...

10. Spy VS Spy
Released:Dunno...1991 Possibly
Review:Holy shit,I remember this game - i hadn't played it in probably 10 years, but was recently Reunited. Obviously didnt have the same effect as it did then,but Look past the comically bad graphics and you have one of the most addictive and timeless 2player games EVER!


9. Guitar Hero: World Tour
Released:2000
Comment:Good Craic when you're blitzed


8. Fade to Black
Released: 1996
Review:Very different from any action/adventure game I've played. Its kinda got an eerie feeling to it and you feel that your actually IN the game. Can get frustrating at times and was a result of many controllers being smashed against a wall, especially when the stupid green monsters turned into liquid and touched you and then you died! What the fuck??!!


7. Super Mario Kart (Original)
Released:1992
Review: So here another Nintendo classic, its pretty amazing how this is the second nintendo game on the countdown. its just such a shite console. I mean, they use these shitty ass things that arent CD's but are actually "cartridges" and most of the games are cheesy as...but hey? guess it aint as bad as SEEEEEEEGAAAAAA with the really gay sonic the hedgehog that goes so fast you dont know whats going on...anyway! The original Super Mario Kart was legendary and was probably a huge step in computer games!


6. Indiana Jones And The Fate Of Atlantis
Released: 1992
Review: Although Film Games Are Generally Wank, I have to give props to this. very entertaining roleplaying game and way ahead of its time.


5. Age Of Empires II
Released:2002
Review: The Age Of Empires are the best strategy games ever made. The creators have a created a very good game and has a lot of original good ideas. Map Creating is 1 of them. We used to be the kings of making Age Of Empire maps, we even put storylines to them. Its actually very educational without realising it because your learning about...old...stuff... Like the barracks are used for housing military personell, and then when I was in school 1 time they were like "What are barracks" and i was able to answer...still failed history like but meh! I also reckon this is the best game to play online.1 time I even won! Like when people leave the game it sez Player 1 Resigned. Well I just typed in Resigned so it looked as if I resigned but really i secretly built up a big mad army and waited till the end. and then this guy thought he won and was like "Yeahh" and then i said "hey" and he was like "WHAAAA??" and I was like "Yeah...i have a big massive army! and i slaughtered him...ahhh good times.


4. Grand Theft Auto 3
Released: 1999 - Present Day
Comment: "Dont Fuck Wi Me"Review: Can I just say that if you dont have any of the GTA Games, ESPECIALLY the new ones, go shoot yourself in the head...or alternatively you could go out and buy 1. In recent years they have become the best games on the shelves. And why not? The games are amazing, lots of hardcore violence, there are no boundaries when it comes to using guns,stealing cars,fucking hookers. Your basically in control of your own fantasy world. A really good game to play if your pissed off because you can go on big arson attacks against the pigs with flamethrowers and bazookas etc...They also have assigned missions which you can follow to. I personally like 3 the best because it was simple. the newer games are good but are jus way over the top in my opinion.


3. Metal Gear Solid
Released:2000
Review: When I saw the advert for this on a demo disc I was curious, so I bought it...and I wasnt dissapointed. Definately a breakthrough in video games using new technology...or as I call it, using american binoculars and going through air vents *thumbs up* I despise people who say the 2nd 1 is better, coz it just aint true. So the graphics are better? Big Whoop. The way you control your characters better to but the fact that about 90f it is long ass cut scenes doesnt really help.I actually timed the very last cut scene/Codec call before the final boss and it lasted about an hour LITERALLY! and I couldnt pause it. I needed to go take a SHIT! Also you dont even play as snake,you play as some fag called Raiden...thats like Playing Zelda without Zelda?? Im not saying its a completely shit game, im just saying that Metal Gear Solid 1 is better! And infact, most of the stuff in the 2nd 1 was originally in the 1st 1 - and the 1st versions were done better. Great ideas, Great characters, Great storyline. What more can I say?

2. Resident Evil
Released: 1996
Review: I thought video games were platformers such as Super Mario Bros or Sonic...then this came out. I was about 8 when it was released and I remember my bro invited a couple of friends over, 1 of which brought round the game round 2 play. We crowded around the tv and when it loaded up the game, I stared in complete amazement. The graphics...the speaking as opposed to subtitles, this was something new. I remember just coming up to watch him play it coz I thought it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.A few months later I got the game for myself, it was a bit scary though and I used to have nightmares about the green hunters killing me, but when I got a bit older (6 months later) I faced my fear lol, and played it again and managed to complete it. 7 years later and I consider myself the king of this game. I can complete it with just using the handgun (apart from tyrant) Theres no doubt about it, that this is truly 1 of the best games ever...but the acting is WANK!!


1. Final Fantasy VII
Released: 1997
Review:The majority of game reviewers call this the best game ever made,the majority of hardcore gamers call this the best game ever made. I call this the best game ever made...and do you know why? COZ IT IS THE BEST GAME EVER MADE!! Great Characters,Great Gameplay Even the Music KICKS ASS!! The graphics are a bit shit, especially the way they kinda walk into you...BUT WHO CARES? ITS THE BEST GAME EVER MADE!The thing that really completes it though, is the storyline. It really sucks you into the game and makes you want to play on. It should be made into a movie (Actually theyre making the sequel into a movie but if its anything like "Spirits Within" it'll probably suck dick) I almost didnt even want the thing to end. It just kicks ass, and theres so much extra stuff you can do in it. Masterpiece...thats all I can say. Fucking Genuis.